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Is Home Your Happy Place?
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I Love You and Thank You

It's been three months since Michael died. When The Beautiful One returned from her last visit with him and his devoted life partner Jody, she knew much more intimately the . . . [Read More]

Unruly Books: Is Home Your Happy Place? (June)

We are going to read my book Is Home Your Happy Place? together. I know, I know. How exciting might it be to read a book about clutter? Well, it's not . . . [Read More]

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Unruly Rants


There was this piece of me—a young, vulnerable, desperate piece of me—who begged for someone to finally just tell me who the hell I was supposed to be, or do, or what my life was supposed to be about. Every time life intensified, waves of hysteria would swell from deep within me, the fear that I’d get it wrong… that I couldn’t trust myself to know what was true for me. I felt terrified that, without external guidance, my life would be wasted.

But then I started to explore what one of my early teachers called “the spirituality of the self”. I studied the way I reacted to the world around me, the way I allowed certain relationships, circumstances, and experiences to affect me. I learned I was powerful, far more powerful than I’d ever imagined, and that I could change reality by changing the way I was showing up in the world. In time, I released what no longer served me and made space for my truth to become my life. The artist, the lover, the priestess, the mother, the healer, the dancer, the writer . . . one discovery at a time, I hosted a reunion of the pieces of my soul.

This transformation was possible because of the supports I cultivated for myself along the way.  My blog is an extension of my journals. I use it to share the lessons I’ve learned, powerful resources, and inspiring stories of my clients’ transformations. Dig in and find the information and inspiration you need today and keep coming back when you need another dose! If you can’t find what you’re looking for, email me your question and I’ll see what I can find for you.

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November 10, 2015

We Still Can’t Buy Happiness: An Open Letter To Oprah Winfrey


If you’re hunting for the perfect sofa to nap, lounge and roll around on all weekend long, go for the couch with a depth of 36 to 42 inches. – Joann Pan, How To Make Your Home Your Happy Place on

Oprah, this article makes me want to pull my hair out. This is 2015 and you are still talking about how buying more stuff is the way to cultivate happiness in our lives. Still. STILL. 

How is this even possible? Look around.

We’ve been buying more stuff (and the containers and systems to try to live peacefully among it) for years (MANY YEARS) and the search for happiness continues. Most days, it feels like we are further from it than before.

If stuff could make us happy, we would have long ago burst into flames from the intensity of it all. We are overloaded with stuff. Still, not happy.

No, it’s not the extra deep couch, nor is it the layered rugs, or even hotel room bedding trickery that can make home a happy place. And it’s damn sure not the hard corners that will make or break us.

And yes, plants can bring a place to life as little else can but please — for the love of all things glittery — please bring me the person whose home was wildly happy EXCEPT for their crappy lighting. Please. Because I want to meet the person who lives one set of recessed lights short of conquering their happy threshold. Bring them to me and I’ll buy the lights myself!

Now, I’m not saying that these six tips are completely useless. Who doesn’t love a little softness thrown into nice square space. But is happiness what you’re pitching here? Because it feels more like pretty or warm or welcoming, or even  magazine-ready.

Oprah, is this what the women you came to this planet to serve really need to know about cultivating happiness in their lives? 

Maybe it’s time for you to hop back into that sweet bus and tour the humble homes of some of the regular folks in this country? 

Too long, O. It’s been too damn long. 

While you were holed up at HQ making advertising deals with Stuff manufacturers, I’ve been out here trying to pick up the pieces with the women who are drowning in this bullshittery. And let me reassure you, we’ve got ourselves the makings of a crisis here.

They are up to their eyeballs in dishes and laundry, carpool and co-op, homework and holding their families together.  Paper is kicking their collective asses. They are numbing with trips to the mall and Target and the thrift store, convinced it’s nothing like when “addicts” do whatever they use to attempt to feel better.

(Lots of them are numbing with the stuff “addicts” use, too, so don’t go thinking this is not a big deal.)

These women are struggling. Like *really* struggling. They turn to you for guidance because you’re OPRAH. And you keep giving them one more round of buy-more-shit-and-then-you’ll-feel-complete.

I’m dying here. We’re all dying here. Our planet is dying here.

Please just give me one issue about releasing what no longer serves us. Show us how to discover the real reasons why we keep doing so much harm to ourselves and our planet, and then show us how to heal those wounds. Show us how to reconnect with ourselves so we can see what’s true for us, and how the rest is simply holding us in old patterns of the people who no longer want to be. And please, really please, help us figure out how to keep from teaching our children that Stuff will make them happy or this is never going to end.

Oprah, you can do better than this. Let’s have the courage to get REAL with one another. Let’s admit that what we’ve been doing is not working. Let’s admit that we’ve already bought the stuff that was supposed to fix us and we are not yet fixed.

Call me, or read this. We need to cultivate a real solution. Together.

As always, if you need support, I’m here.
August 31, 2014

An Open Letter To The Boy Who Loves My Daughter (Or Any Wild One)


Dear Boy Who Loves My Daughter,

She is a Wild One. She may not even realize it yet but she is. She comes to you from the womb of a woman who can not bear to be possessed.

She is not yours to keep.

She is her own possession, the center of her sacred universe. She belongs to only herself and the Mystery that flows through her veins.

Her spirit is intact and she has already fallen in love… with the truth of who she is. There is no hole for you to fill, at least not within her. Just walk beside her and enjoy the magical nature of wholeness.

She loved others before you. She loves others today, even as she is loving you. And she will continue to love wildly. Her love for her family, friends, learning, and herself sustain her.

Her love is a gift. Wallow in it for as long as it is true for her to share it with you but focus on your heart and your life and your future because her heart and her life and her future are hers.

She is a force of nature and she will not be tamed. Every day, she is in choice about all things… including you. Be wise enough to treasure her, but dare not try to own her. She won’t have it.

Most sincerely,

As always, if you need support, I’m here.
May 17, 2014

Love Notes: When You’re Overcome


A Wild One wrote to me that she’d buried both of her parents in the span of a couple of weeks and that she was reeling. She asked me if I had a message for her and the following came through. I’ll put it here just in case you need it today.

Mostly, breathe.

Also, feel what’s coming up… as much as you can bear at a time.

Make a point to connect with the earth. Many of us are experiencing swirling, disorienting sensations right now. I’m hearing that it’s about the sudden shift of all that we’ve just released (the ends of relationships, seasons, jobs, and even the lives of loved ones). We were weighed down by those things, but not actually grounded, and their release left us floating about. This is the time for us to intentionally ground ourselves.

Move your body every day. Dance or do yoga or walk… something.

Drink lots of water and eat living foods.

Love. Love yourself. Love others. Surrender to the healing powers of the healthy connections between you and those you love.

These are the things I hear to share with you tonight. If they resonate for you as truth, and you’d like to schedule a private session for more guidance and healing, I have space and would be honored to collaborate with you in that way.

As always, if you need support, I’m here.
February 17, 2014

Love Notes: To The Guy On The Sidewalk


“Well hellooo, beautiful…”

Terror rises when you speak to me. I need this to stop.

It’s not that I mind you saying it. In fact, I want to be seen. I am a beautiful woman, the great light flows though me with a force that, at times, takes even my own breath away.

If I am living my truth, I will distract you. I’m a force of nature and when I meet you on the street, I want you to know I am here. I am here. This is my space. These are my streets. I belong here.

You see, beautiful stranger, my soul lives within what you see. It dances and loves and heals others because it is alive in these walls. It is my inner world that makes me shine. My soul is the reason you see me. My soul is sacred. And my body is sacred, too.

See the whole me. This is what I want from you. See my curves and the magical place where my neck and shoulder come together. See my strong thighs and my soft hands. See the smile on my lips and the light in my eyes.

See me.

See me and know deep down in the sacredness of your own being that this body is, that I am, divine… and treat me that way.

kohlmann.sascha via Flickr
As always, if you need support, I’m here.