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I Love You and Thank You

It's been three months since Michael died. When The Beautiful One returned from her last visit with him and his devoted life partner Jody, she knew much more intimately the . . . [Read More]

Unruly Books: Is Home Your Happy Place? (June)

We are going to read my book Is Home Your Happy Place? together. I know, I know. How exciting might it be to read a book about clutter? Well, it's not . . . [Read More]

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Unruly Rants


There was this piece of me—a young, vulnerable, desperate piece of me—who begged for someone to finally just tell me who the hell I was supposed to be, or do, or what my life was supposed to be about. Every time life intensified, waves of hysteria would swell from deep within me, the fear that I’d get it wrong… that I couldn’t trust myself to know what was true for me. I felt terrified that, without external guidance, my life would be wasted.

But then I started to explore what one of my early teachers called “the spirituality of the self”. I studied the way I reacted to the world around me, the way I allowed certain relationships, circumstances, and experiences to affect me. I learned I was powerful, far more powerful than I’d ever imagined, and that I could change reality by changing the way I was showing up in the world. In time, I released what no longer served me and made space for my truth to become my life. The artist, the lover, the priestess, the mother, the healer, the dancer, the writer . . . one discovery at a time, I hosted a reunion of the pieces of my soul.

This transformation was possible because of the supports I cultivated for myself along the way.  My blog is an extension of my journals. I use it to share the lessons I’ve learned, powerful resources, and inspiring stories of my clients’ transformations. Dig in and find the information and inspiration you need today and keep coming back when you need another dose! If you can’t find what you’re looking for, email me your question and I’ll see what I can find for you.

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April 14, 2014

Lesson Five: Cultivate Support


It is my sincere belief that most of us are doing the best that we can bear to do with our lives. It may not even be the best we know how to do, but there’s more than just cognitive capacity affecting how we are living.  We bump up against emotional obstacles, energetic blocks, restrictive beliefs, unsupportive environments, addictions, etc. In every moment, we contain the flow of several generations of thoughts, beliefs, and actions. They can either guide us to, or pull us away, from our true selves.

We get to decide how much of what flows through us is allowed to stay and define us.

We are in choice about how we show up in this life. The path we have chosen is about examining everything that cultivates our reality. We release what is false; we call in what is true.

In the beginning, we may feel like we are constantly sorting all of the sordid details of our life. It feels that way because that’s exactly what we’re doing.

When we hear our negative self talk, we will dig in and figure out to whom that voice belongs. (Our true selves would never speak to us with such fear and loathing.) When we have a relationship with food (or cigarettes or drugs or sex or whatever else) that doesn’t cultivate the kind of health and sanity that we desire, we get to explore what’s driving us. We get to heal. We get to find ways to meet our needs in ways that do not compromise the quality of our lives.

We must find the courage to look at the way we are showing up in the world. If we want to change our lives, we must begin with the willingness to own them.

We have to own who we became as a result of whatever circumstances led us here. Yes, those things happened. Yes, they were perhaps less than ideal. And yes, we may still be hurting from them. We may have more healing work to do around both new and old wounds. Yet, we are still responsible for who we’ve become.

Once more for clarity: We are responsible for who we’ve become.

If this is not the version of you that you intended to become, it’s time to dig in and cultivate your truth. Your true self still reigns, even if it is buried by the chaos and overwhelm. Your only job is to reconnect with your truth and move into alignment with it.

It’s a journey. This is your journey. But you don’t have to travel it alone. The people, systems and experiences that are available to support you far exceed the number of obstacles standing between you and your truth.

Read books, listen to music, study teachers whose work inspires you, ask hard questions and have the courage to answer them yourself, watch movies, move enough to make yourself sweat, seek non-medical healing for your body, clean up your food, spend more time with people who make you think and feel the way you desire to feel, do less of what feels untrue, recover from your addiction (including codependency), tell your story, allow life-changing experiences to change you, create, dance, write, and refuse to speak to yourself with anything less than kindness, compassion, and love.

You deserve to be the one you came here to be. Moving into alignment with that requires support. Yes, there are many forms of support available to you here at Camp Christy, but look around you, there are invitations everywhere.  Accept them. You are worth it. Yes, I’m sure.

Valerie Everett via Flickr
As always, if you need support, I’m here.