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I Love You and Thank You

It's been three months since Michael died. When The Beautiful One returned from her last visit with him and his devoted life partner Jody, she knew much more intimately the . . . [Read More]

Unruly Books: Is Home Your Happy Place? (June)

We are going to read my book Is Home Your Happy Place? together. I know, I know. How exciting might it be to read a book about clutter? Well, it's not . . . [Read More]

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Unruly Rants

journal

There was this piece of me—a young, vulnerable, desperate piece of me—who begged for someone to finally just tell me who the hell I was supposed to be, or do, or what my life was supposed to be about. Every time life intensified, waves of hysteria would swell from deep within me, the fear that I’d get it wrong… that I couldn’t trust myself to know what was true for me. I felt terrified that, without external guidance, my life would be wasted.

But then I started to explore what one of my early teachers called “the spirituality of the self”. I studied the way I reacted to the world around me, the way I allowed certain relationships, circumstances, and experiences to affect me. I learned I was powerful, far more powerful than I’d ever imagined, and that I could change reality by changing the way I was showing up in the world. In time, I released what no longer served me and made space for my truth to become my life. The artist, the lover, the priestess, the mother, the healer, the dancer, the writer . . . one discovery at a time, I hosted a reunion of the pieces of my soul.

This transformation was possible because of the supports I cultivated for myself along the way.  My blog is an extension of my journals. I use it to share the lessons I’ve learned, powerful resources, and inspiring stories of my clients’ transformations. Dig in and find the information and inspiration you need today and keep coming back when you need another dose! If you can’t find what you’re looking for, email me your question and I’ll see what I can find for you.

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October 13, 2014

The Heart of Clean Slate: My Story of Letting Go (Intro)

Mala LOVE.
Mala LOVE.

I decided to write to you each day with a little Clean Slate treasure, something to help everyone understand the invitation at hand. I thought about tips or lessons or a number of other goodies I’ve gathered up over the last three years of sharing these methods. None of those felt right.

I asked for clarification a few minutes ago and heard “stories” from TVIMH. I thought, awesome, I have lots of remarkable stories from my students that I can share. Still no. I asked again for clarification. I heard “Where is your heart?”

Yes, I did all of the decision making about offering this again. I worked hard with Web Guru to update the new website. We opened registration. I told about it. I’ve been waiting.

Where is your heart?

Yes, where is it? For a few days, I’ve been dealing with some health challenges which have had my in my body. I’ve been working with lots of clients, which is head and spirit work. But my heart. I’ve disconnected it seems.

As soon as I reconnected to my heart, the years started to pour down my cheeks. I don’t even know what all they are about. Dyani asked me what was happening and I explained all of this to her. She said, “Why haven’t you been in your heart?” I said that it was probably because all of these tears were in there. She smiled and held me while I let some of them go.

I realized that I have to tell MY stories about releasing that which is no longer true for me (read: simplifying, clutter-clearing, etc.). I need to tell you about how I let go and what changed when I found the courage to face myself in this way.

So tonight while she works the night shift and the children sleep, I will put pen to paper and tell you one of my stories, the stories I’ve only barely whispered to those closest to me. I will open my heart to you and then–and only then–will it be true for me to ask you to do the same for me as we journey through this extraordinarily healing Clean Slate experience.

Deep breath. I’m going in.

As always, if you need support, I’m here.