There was this piece of me—a young, vulnerable, desperate piece of me—who begged for someone to finally just tell me who the hell I was supposed to be, or do, or what my life was supposed to be about. Every time life intensified, waves of hysteria would swell from deep within me, the fear that I’d get it wrong… that I couldn’t trust myself to know what was true for me. I felt terrified that, without external guidance, my life would be wasted.
But then I started to explore what one of my early teachers called “the spirituality of the self”. I studied the way I reacted to the world around me, the way I allowed certain relationships, circumstances, and experiences to affect me. I learned I was powerful, far more powerful than I’d ever imagined, and that I could change reality by changing the way I was showing up in the world. In time, I released what no longer served me and made space for my truth to become my life. The artist, the lover, the priestess, the mother, the healer, the dancer, the writer . . . one discovery at a time, I hosted a reunion of the pieces of my soul.
This transformation was possible because of the supports I cultivated for myself along the way. My blog is an extension of my journals. I use it to share the lessons I’ve learned, powerful resources, and inspiring stories of my clients’ transformations. Dig in and find the information and inspiration you need today and keep coming back when you need another dose! If you can’t find what you’re looking for, email me your question and I’ll see what I can find for you.
I have this new website and these life-altering workshops and two really awesome promotions to celebrate my 40th birthday, all of which we have been creating and planning for months. It’s all supposed to be launching this week. I meant to announce the promotions yesterday. The workshops are ready for enrollment but haven’t really been seen. The new website is pure badassery and I wanted you to visit and swoon and reach out for the support you deserve.
I can’t stop watching and everything I was so freaking excited about now feels pale by comparison. Yes, even mentioning the birthday I’ve been counting down to for years feels so damned privileged I can barely stay in my skin as I type this.
Do you know how hard it is to nearly sever a man’s spinal cord? Can you imagine how afraid of losing your son to police violence that you would hit and scream at that same coveted child in the middle of a crisis with national media coverage? How many times does a community have to suffer the same tragic loss before they are given the legal leeway to lose their fucking minds?
When will “us” and “them” myth splinter into a million bits so that the truth of our oneness can finally emerge?
I’m walking in circles, mostly mental, through all of the things that I was encouraged to do the last time an unarmed black man was killed by police and I nearly lost my mind with the need to do something… anything.
Educate the teenagers? Check.
Protest? Yeah, we did that! Well, we went to that one protest.
Organize? No, I didn’t. But I meant to.
Read the books? Where did I put that list?
Give money? Donate my time? My energy? My skills?
Damn it. I didn’t do the things. And it keeps happening. The truth is that, for a split second, I felt powerless. But I’m not powerless, not in this scenario. Not even close.
Now what? (Again.) Now I watch in horror, lean into my discomfort, and use this energy to remember how to be a light in all of this darkness.
And yes, somewhere in all of this rambling is the point of this divine timing. I’m not suggesting that The Great Glitter Maker arranged the collision of my birthday celebration and the homicide of Freddie Gray, but merely that I can find purpose in it. We must find purpose in it.
We must have the courage to allow life-changing experiences to alter us.
Maybe the 40 pick-your-price sessions I meant to offer existing clients is exactly what those women need to process the trauma or brainstorm solutions or heal old heartbreaks. Maybe the $40 sessions I meant to offer to 40 new clients are exactly what those women need to say yes to the support they deserve.
Yeah, all of this brilliant marketing just fell away and I’m back to looking for ways to be useful when the world feels unbearable to Unruly Women. It always comes back to this, the boomerang that is my heart’s work.
What I know is this: What came to life this week in my business has been in the works for nine months (and 40 incredible years) and it finally came to life now, the very week that all the feelings and all of the tragedy and all of the loss bubbled up.
So here’s my invitation to every Unruly Woman:
Let us collaborate. Let us heal. Let us cultivate the love and light and truth. Let us journey back out into the world as our connected, empowered, unruly selves. It’s clear that what the world needs most is for us to bring the best of who we are to the table. Now.