I’m not scary. Really.

After ten years in business, I’ve heard again and again from folks who want to work with me but feel afraid or unsure. I hope this page helps. Below are my long, super honest responses to all the questions my current clients said you might want to ask before you say yes.

Note: This is not required reading. If at any point you feel ready to commit, click here to purchase your first session.

Will there be homework?
Maybe. It depends on what kind of healing or changes you want to make. If you want to get your financial life in order that’s going to mean homework but it doesn’t mean I’ll send you away to do it alone. The homework might mean watching a few YNAB videos to see if their approach feels accessible. If not, your homework might be to look around for a system that resonates for you. Small steps. It’s always going to be about small, daily action with me.

If you are focused on health your homework might be to drink water or put living foods in your belly at least once a day for the next week. It might mean sleeping or talking to your partner or simply noticing your energy levels as you move through a day or week. Here’s what I can promise you: Homework will be small enough to feel accessible for you. It will be customized enough to be purposeful. And even if you can’t get the homework done, we can use that experience to figure out what you need to move forward. See? Not scary.

Do I need to do anything before our session?
You don’t need to do anything before our first session. If you are the kind of person who wishes to offer background information, you are welcome to send it to me here. In order to ensure I have space to process it, please get it to me at least one day before our session.

How do I pay for our session?
If you haven’t paid yet, you can do so here. You’ll see that you have some options to choose from. A single session is $145. Package pricing for four or twelve sessions reduces the cost. The best price is the annual pass, which includes weekly sessions for a year.

I hope this helps you understand your options. If not, message me so I can help. The point of all this variety is to keep support accessible. If none of these options work for you, please reach out. I will do all I can to make our collaboration possible.

How many sessions do you think I'll need?
Great question. If you’re coming with one piece of your life on fire, then one session will likely be enough to get you some relief and clarity about moving forward. If you’ve got a wildfire tearing through the landscape of your life, then maybe four or twelve. If you are ready for a massive demolition/rebuild project, then give it a year of weeklies and we’ll see if you want a second when we get there. The great news is that you don’t need to know how you want this to go at the beginning. Schedule the first session, enjoy the hell out of it, and decide when you want to do it again. One week later, two? You’ll know.

How are you different from a therapist?
This is a tricky question. First, I am not a therapist so I don’t have that training or credentials. One client recently said that although I am not a therapist, working with me feels therapeutic. I am not here to pathologize what you are going through, only to provide a space to move through it with the support of my intuition, many years of training as life coach, priestess, abortion support person, writer, and witch, and now ten years of experience doing this work.

How do I start? I don’t even know what to talk about.
That’s okay. You show up and tell me whatever feels true to share. I’ll ask gentle questions to help dig into the work you want to do with our time together. To be clear, you do not need a crisis or even clarity about what you want to change to have a session with me. If you want support, I’m here. Your desire is enough.

I can't hire you until I figure out X.
Great. Then figure out X and hire me. If you can’t figure out X then remember that I am also good at helping with X. Once we figure out X, then I can help you with the rest of the list too.

I bet I'm the most messed up person you've ever met, and you'll have no idea how to help me because it's hopeless.
I’m not going to fall into the trap of telling you that I’ve already met the most messed up person that I’ll ever work with, so it can’t possibly be you because then the last ten years’ worth of clients will be assuming they are them. Instead, let me assure you that humans are messy. I am messy. And your mess is welcome here.

I have a handful of core beliefs I use to run my life and The Unruly Woman. Here’s an important one: Help over hate. If being judgmental and hateful was an effective strategy for fixing our lives, I’d be willing to consider it. I care about results. If hate worked, I’d have to be open to it, but being hateful to ourselves (or others, for that matter) simply does not help. Beating ourselves up for what we were taught, the ways we cope, the mistakes we’ve made, and the place we find ourselves today does not help make us stronger, better, or happier. So you bring your messy, and I’ll bring the magic and we will heal whatever needs healing in your life.

I've tried talking to people, but it never works.
Fair. And you know what? Talking to me might not help either. But two things: 1. You’ll know right away. Seriously, we will feel that collaboration is a good idea from the very first conversation. No exceptions. (You probably already know it’s a fit if you’re still reading this.) 2. Many of my most successful collaborations have been with people who previously had ineffective (sometimes downright harmful) collaborations with more conventional therapists, life coaches, etc. Evidence shows that provider/client rapport is as important as the intervention utilized. You’ll know after the first session if this is a good fit for you. Let’s give it a try, okay?

I'm worried you'll tell me I should be a minimalist and release everything.
Ah! Then you must have heard of my space healing work. Yes, I do that whole “healing your environment, heal your life” thing. But that’s not the only support I offer. (Head, heart, AND home!) And even if we’re working on your physical environment, space healing is not about minimalism. It’s about tending your physical space to be the supportive environment you need to live the life you desire.

Can you work with me and my partner/spouse together?
I can. There are some rules and guidelines that help that not be a disaster. Let’s connect to chat about what’s going on and make a plan for how to proceed.

What if it’s my spouse/kids /roommate etc. who is the problem?
Then you have two options:
1. Get them to hire me or
2. You hire me to figure out your side of the ineffective dynamic running the show at your place.

What are your credentials/background?
It’s a long story. Start here and if you have more questions, message me.

What if I'm not sure what the problem is?
That’s okay. All you need is a rumbling that something isn’t how you want or need it to be. Bring that rumble, and we will find a way forward.

Do you do retreats?
Sometimes. I’m still recovering from the last one, but you can join the mailing list to hear more when I’m ready.

I have a dozen problems; how can you help me decide which to work on first, or do we tackle them all at once?
It’s hard to know without knowing the details of your situation but I do know this: If you could just fix it all at once you would have already. My work with people usually means picking one or two (three tops) areas to concentrate on. There’s a strong emphasis on small, accessible, consistent action that is specifically chosen to weave into an already complicated life because life is complicated or you wouldn’t be reading this page. I know that’s scary because nobody wants to wait six months to get to the 7th or 11th item on the list but you’re one person and cultivating longterm sustainable change takes time, clarity, and action. If you’re waiting for that one day you can fix it all, you’re going to die with this fire still raging around and within you.

Do you have experience working with people with addictions/eating disorders/substance abuse?
Yes, I have personal and professional experience with 12-step and other recovery approaches.

It’s my daughter who’s really needing help, she’s 12. What age range do you normally work with?
To date, my youngest client was 13 and my oldest is 70. Age is not how I identify my ideal client because Unrulies come in all kinds of bodies, from different places, with a variety of different family structures, spiritual practices, financial means, gender expressions, sexual orientations, and neurodiversity.

Do you offer an introductory "get to know me" call?
I do if that’s something you desire. You can call or text me at 615-375-6673 to arrange that, or message me.

My house is loud. I never have alone time. How will I be able to talk on the phone for an hour? I can’t even manage 5 minutes of silence.
While I’m not opposed to your littles (or dogs or birds or whatever) interrupting our time together, most clients find they get more out of the session if they can sneak away for an hour. If you can’t, then that’s okay. We will work through it. And I will do whatever I can to schedule a time that works best for you, which may include evenings or weekends if necessary. Either way, you bring what space you can find and we will make it work.

What happens if I schedule and then have to cancel my session?
I am happy to reschedule your session with 24-hour notice which gives me enough time to fill that space I held for you. Otherwise, payment is expected (or one of your session credits will be applied). Every client gets one free pass for a same day cancelation. Spend it wisely.

Note: I work with lots of birth folks and caregivers, and understand that life sometimes changes fast. If you stand me up for birth or death, I’ll reschedule you at no charge. Faking birth or death because you forgot your appointment is not good for your magic, so don’t.

 Photo by Sabri Tuzcu on Unsplash